Observe & Not Absorb – Guide to Mental Wellness
Learning the Art of Detachment and Mental Wellness
It was spring Sunday afternoon. I finished my lunch , done the dishes and settled by the French window eating berries.
It was breezy outside , like a cat stretching in a sunbeam. Trees outside were waving at me.
That was when I noticed one old notebook of mine which I had written for my final project . I helped myself finding important pages from it .
It had written ” Observe not Absorb” on it , with pastel pink colour.
I started connecting dots of old proverb with current scenario.
Have you ever encountered with digital toxicity , narcissistic friends , boasting relatives or person who always plays victim card ? It does take skill to manage and articulate our response towards the chaos of the world.
We cannot always control who enters our lives, what they say, or how they behave. But we can learn to control how much of their chaos we allow into our inner world.
People who are self-centred often feed on the feelings of those who are gentle. They get more powerful with the attention we provide.
It’s important to understand the fact that we cannot ignore all the persons around us physically, but mentally we can put some barriers . Put yourself in a therapist’s chair and simply observe their doings from afar. Not every mess is yours to clean .
Empathy does not require self-abandonment. You can acknowledge someone’s feelings without excusing their actions.
Narcissists love attention and empathy. Simply saying ” I understand and value your emotions” is far better than validating their actions .
We should draw boundaries as not every person and situation is going to be in our favour.
Same principle applies for digital toxicity. You do not have to respond to every provocation, entertain every argument, or give every stranger access to your peace.
I closed the notebook, finished my last berry . Some lessons are best learnt by simply watching.
Daily Guide :
1.Morning: set your shield
Before checking your phone, take three slow breaths and remind yourself: “Not every mess is mine to clean.”
2. Balloon Technique – Imagine you are holding a balloon , and filling it with all the worries you have .Now release it .It shows how you are letting go of all the negativity.
3. Window and street metaphor – If there is some noisy event going on in your vicinity , do you acknowledge it by window or go on the streets ? Exactly !! It’s safe to simply observe and let it dissolve by itself .
4. Curtain technique – How can you curtain the online toxicity ? Curate your feed. Turn off non-essential notifications. Take digital detox. Remember online lives are not true.
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